Aug 14, 2013

家有特殊儿,付不起 Home School 昂贵 学费,请联络我

如果您家里有特殊儿,明年本来应该上一年级,担心孩子跟不上课业。考虑 在家学习 (Home School)课程,却又付不起昂贵学费,请联络我 oikoshomeschool@gmail.com

本人以补习方式督导特殊儿童使用 Home school 作业,犹如父母自己教育自己孩子一般,一般父母把孩子送去 Home School,每个月必须付的学费并不便宜,本人收取的学费与一般补习中心相等。

小班制、最多6 人,目前只收 Level 1 - Level 6 的学生而已。

May 23, 2013

Dyspraxia by Geoff Brookers



Up to ten per cent of the population is believed to suffer from some form of dyspraxia. Accessible and engaging, this practical guide provides teachers with tips and techniques for teaching students with dyspraxia.
 
"There are symptoms, there are problems, there are frustrations, there are tears. But there are strategies that can lead to positive outcomes. And while it is important to understand where it comes from, providing support and guidance is what this book is all about." From the introduction
 
This book will prove invaluable reading for everyone who works with young people.
This new edition contains new chapters on cures and adolescence.

ADHD: by Fintan J.O'Regan


ADHD is a term used to classify extreme symptoms of inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity. It is one of the most challenging and controversial areas of special education facing teachers in UK schools today. This informative guide equips teachers with a wide variety of strategies for teaching and managing pupils who are diagnosed with ADHD. Finton O'Regan also provides guidance on medication such as Ritalin, and suggests a number of ways to get parents more involved. All in all, an indispensible guide for every teacher!>

Autistic Spectrum Disorder : by Sarah Worth



Autism (or Autistic Spectrum Disorder) is a condition which affects a child's ability to socialise and to develop speech and language. It is a particularly challenging SEN facing teachers today. This informative guide equips teachers with a wide variety of strategies for teaching and managing pupils who are diagnosed with Autism. Well-written and engaging, this book will prove invaluable reading for teachers everywhere.

艺术治疗: 陆雅青著





本書以Lowenfeld的兒童繪畫發展階段理論為基礎,結合其他發展學理論,從藝術治療的觀點來闡釋各階段兒童繪畫的一般圖像表徵、生理特質、可能的行 為動機及心理意義,以作為判斷當事人是否適齡/不適齡、健康/不健康的參考。基於要了解特殊兒童及成人的繪畫表現,必得先掌握一般正常兒童繪畫表現的原 則,本書可謂一能從美術進入孩子或當事人心靈世界的參考書籍,適合所有關心兒童/個體心智成長的家長、老師及心理衛生工作者閱讀,亦是學習藝術治療的基礎 工具書。

本書第三版除將部分的舊資料更新以外,為配合「早期療育」的醫療及教育思潮,在第二及第三章中對七歲以下兒童的繪畫現象及適齡的藝術 活動尤其有詳盡的說明,以作為診斷的輔助及介入的標準。此外,本版並增錄一篇「藝術教育治療在『藝術與人文』領域之應用」,探討將藝術治療理念實際應用於 現今學校教育的可行性。

May 19, 2013

Symptoms of Dyslexia 学习障碍的一些症状

学习障碍的一些症状

1。当他们看书、写字或抄字的时候会头痛、头晕。

2。看到会移动的字句。

3。写漏子: cake 写成 cak;

4。重复的字母: I amam a girl.

5. 写倒反的字(左右或上下)。比如: cat 写成 cta;
b 写成 d; p 写成 q ; 6 写成 9; 14 写成 41; u 写成 n;

6。无法分辨相似的字,例: there 和 three,

7。在抄写上有困难。

8。对分辨 “左” 和 “右” 有困难。

9。 对分辨 “之前” 和“之后” 有困难。

10。对分辨数学符号 “+”; "-" 出现问题。

11。在拚音上有困难。通常无法分辨第二音还是第三音。

12。 短记忆,很快将所学习的忘记,或无法记得刚学习的字。

13。在次序上出现问题, 比如: 顺序和逆序的排列 ; ABC...Z 的排列。

14。在阅读上有困难。(俗称:阅读障碍)在阅读上出现压力,形成口吃。

15。一些在大肌肉(Gross Moto)上出现困难:无法跳。

16。一些在小肌肉(Fine Moto) 上出现困难:无法用剪刀剪,无法使用铅笔削来削铅笔。

17。用很长的时间去想答案,尤其当老师问问题的时候,在紧张时更难想出来。

18。学习进度缓慢。

如果发现您的孩子或小朋友有这些症状,请注意他有可能便是 学习障碍。

May 18, 2013

游戏治疗 101

《游戏治疗101》收集了世界各国儿童工作者改造和总结的101个结构式游戏,这些游戏分为想象、说故事、艺术、游戏、玩偶、玩具与对象、团体游戏、其他治疗8大类游戏。这些改造后的游戏,被赋予了更积极、更丰富的治疗技巧,使之成为帮助儿童走出低自尊、莫名恐惧、过动和沮丧、释放心理压力、适应社会的工具。

适合儿童工作者与治疗师所用。

May 17, 2013

动作协调困难(Dyspraxia)

他们被称为“粗心的人”(Clumsy),对于普通人,也许绑鞋带、扣钮扣、吃东西是一件简单的事情,但是对于他们,就连简单到要将食物的胶带打开,都是非常困难 的动作。

如果你看到一些孩子,口齿不清、动作缓慢,不协调、口水不自禁的流出来,身体足部有明显倾斜,走路无法平衡,身体无法蹲下、看到他们就会让你联想到中风的病人那样, 他们就是患上“动作协调困难症”的孩子。

什么是动作协调困难症?动作协调困难(Dyspraxia),又名“发展性协调困难”(Development Delay)。患者无论在动作、口语、书写、表达和组织上都会出现障碍和困难。患此病症的人往往在动作上显得笨拙,手脚不灵活。不但如此,甚至连握笔写字 或画画的动作均也不协调,就被称为“书写困难”。   

动作协调困难症的孩子确实在大肌肉和小肌肉的发展上出现问题,有大肌肉(gross moto)问题的孩子,例如:接球、丢球,还有跑步等等的不协调,其手脚不灵活也在程度上有所不同。有些孩子只在精细动作(fine moto)上有问题,有些孩子则是两 者皆有。


动作协调困难的症状随着年龄和成长状况有所不同。年龄较小的孩子可能在绑鞋带、扣上衬衫的纽扣、拉裤子的拉链出现问题,而且进步缓慢;至于年龄稍大的孩子则可能会在拼图、组建模型、打球、打字或书写上遇到问题。

在爬行上他们的姿势怪异、缺乏爬行、或天生扁平足者,有较高比例会产生学习迟缓的现象。虽然这些技能随着年龄还是会慢慢有所成长,但由于落后同龄一至两年的发展,会造成心理层面的冲击,形成自信心不足、容易有挫折感与疏离感。

在口语上有明显的障碍,被称为“口语协调困难”或“表达协调困难”,比如在说话时出现结巴或是含糊不清的状况,导致不明就里的人误会他们。 他们的发音无法准确、做数学的时候,口里数着 4,却会写下14,因为他们脑部传达信息的地方出现问题,所以身体不听头脑的指挥,常常身不由己的犯错。

根据世界卫生组织(WHO)的统计,全世界有6-8%的孩子有不同程度的肢体协调困难。如果把评判标准放得更宽,有其它的机构或学者,甚至估计有 10-20%。肢体协调困难常常会导致一个人的身体左边和右边,或是上半身和下半身不协调。使得有肢体协调困难的人尽量避免从事跟运动有关的事,尤其是球类运动。有时候,肢体协调困难的人也会有对光、触觉特别敏感。

我有几位 学生是 Dyspraxia 儿童,我觉得他们是与众不同的、可怜的、他们的世界是孤单的,看着他们,面对他们,家长和老师需要忍耐、需要更多的爱心、更多的体谅、更多的智慧、更多的陪伴, 这样才能帮助到他们成长。

Apr 29, 2013

LEARNING DISORDER MANAGEMENT



1. What is Learning Disability?

The World Health Organization defines learning disabilities as “A state of arrested or incomplete development of mind”. Learning disability is not a disease, nor a physical or mental illness. It is not a problem with intelligence. It is caused by a difference in the brain that affects how information is received, processed, or communicated which affects people’s ability to interpret what they see and hear or to link information from the brain. Learning disabilities is a lifelong conditions that may affect a person’s life in school or work, daily routine or family life, Its show in disorder in spoken or written language, coordination, self control, or attention. According to DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Disorder), the criteria and characteristics to diagnose Learning Disabilities can divided into three major categories as follow; Disorders in developmental of speech and language, Disorder in Academic Skills, Other that includes Disorder in Coordination.

1a. Possible Causes of Learning Disability.
Mental health professionals’ stress that no one knows what is the actual reason causes learning disabilities,there are too many possibilities to pin down the cause. Each professional have their say, but in often the specific cause is still unknown. However Scientists do take efforts in study the possibility of causes to identify ways in preventing learning disabilities. Through researches, scientist believe that in many cases,the disorder may begins before birth.

Errors in Fetal Brain Development
Throughout pregnancy, the fetal brain develops from all purpose cells into a complex organ made of billions of specialized, interconnected nerve cells called neurons, which controls basic life functions and later involved with processing sight, sound, and sense, associated with attention, thinking and emotion. If the disruption occurs early, the fetus may die, or the infant may be born with widespread disabilities or possibly mental retardation, but if the disruption occurs later, this may causes learning disabilities.

Genetic Factors
Some researches shows that 50% of the learning disabilities having a genetic link. (Larry, 2009) for example one of the parents or relatives who has writing disorder may have a child with an expressive language disorder, or one of the twins who have attention deficit and the other one having  reading disabilities.

Problems during Pregnancy or Delivery
Complication during pregnancy is one of the possible causes of learning disabilities.  Some cases show that the immune system from the mother reacts to the fetus and attacks it where there is an infection. This will cause newly formed brain cell to settle in the wrong part of the brain. Or during delivery, the umbilical cord twisted and temporary cut off the oxygen to the fetus will cause the child to have learning disability. Research also shows that if the child takes longer time suffers in pain delivery, where Bilirubin exceed the safety level will cause them to have learning disabilities too.

Tobacco, Alcohol and other Drug use
Most of the research shows that a mother’s use of cigarettes, alcohol or other drugs during pregnancy may cause damage effects to the unborn child. Scientists found that those mothers who smoke during pregnancy are likely more to bear a smaller babies. Meanwhile, alcohol and drugs such as cocaine will affect and damaging the development of the brain, including neurons and brain receptors which will leads to learning disabilities.

Toxins in the child’s environment
According to neurological research, Cadmium and lead may possibly disrupting childhood brain development. Cadmium are used in making some steel products, which can gets into soil then into the foods we eat, Leads was common in paint and gasoline and present in some water pipes. National Institutes of Health has done a study on animals and found out it could lead to a changes in brainwave and slowing their ability to learn. The affect on the neurological functions apply in child which causes them to have learning disabilities.

1b. Early Symptoms of Autism, ADHD, Dyspraxia and Dyslexia
Each child will have to go through some development stage, and in this milestone time, if any early signs of development delay can be notices or suspect by the child’s caregiver, then the early intervention program may help the parents to bring changes and understanding to the child.


What is Autism?
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is known as a complex developmental disability that have been caused by a brain abnormality.  It affect a person’s  social interactions , both verbal and non-verbal communication skills, and having a difficulties  functioning in normal activities such like an element of play. First three years of a child, it's a critical period of brain development, so the symptoms can be notices as early as this time. (Kabat, Masi, & Segal, 2003).

The Early Symptoms of Autism
According to the CSBS DP Infant-Toddler Checklist, the symptoms can be notice through 7 categories, which is Emotion and Eye Gaze, Communication, Gestures, Sound, Words, Understanding and Object Use.
When the child wasn’t express joyful emotion or smiles, doesn’t show interest to parent’s sound within the 6 months, no babbling sounds or baby talks like “papa”, “mama”; no imitates of sounds, no simple gestures as “bye-bye”, “give me”; doesn’t responds to own name at 12 months; couldn’t  understand or follow simple direction, doesn’t have a spoken word by 18 months; doesn’t combines 2 words like “mummy come”, “more milk”; doesn’t imitates meaningful sounds at 24 months;  after 2 years old, if the child still not able to understand or answers simple question and request, delay in language development or having a parrot talk, poor in eye contact, doesn’t aware of what is happening surrounding, doesn’t have a pretend play skill, and usually stick to one toys or interest, they tend to have limited interests and activities, it shows that they have a desire to maintain sameness in their routine and surroundings, then they maybe an autistic child.
The Early Symptoms of ADHD
ADHD means Attention-Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.  According to DSM-IV, ADHD diagnose criteria are separated by 3 categories, which is “Inattention”, “Hyperactivity” and “Impulsive”. If the child is having 6 or more symptoms from each category from the past 6 months till presents, he will be diagnosed as ADHD.
The symptoms shows that the child will have difficulty in keeping attention on task and play activities, they will easily get distracted, often forgetful in daily activities, poor in social skill and organizational skills, unable to follow instruction well and having difficulties in paying attention to listen when talk to them. They always loses things needed such like pencils, book, tools or toys, they tends to avoids doing things which required a lot of mental effort or long period of time. That is why they are always fail to finished their school works or duty.  They often fidgets with hands or feet, unable to sit still, always remain hyper in action such like, running, jumping, climbing, they maybe talkative or making a lot of noise,  they always blurts out answer before questions finished, unable to wait for one’s turn, always interrupts others in conversation or games times. They are always “On the Go” or “Driven by a motor”.
Some symptoms that cause impairment were present before age of 7, but most of these symptoms being notice when the child enters into the age of 3-4.

The Early Symptoms of Dyspraxia
Dyspraxia is a development disorder showing impairment of praxis, disorder in sensory integration and motor function. It is also known as Development Coordination Disorder (DCD). The early symptoms of Dyspraxia can be notified as early as in infant and toddler, which show poor in feeding and development delay in motor milestone, for example poor in crawling, sitting, walking, squatting, jumping or skipping. It shows delay in language after 2 to 3 years old and delay in gross motor skills, like late riding tricycle or cannot ride bicycle.  They often show clumsiness like dropping things, unable to estimate the distance and position between things will cause them having difficulty to catch the ball or bumping into things. They often have difficulty in balancing and always fall down from seats, stair case or walking. The child has difficulty not only in gross motor but also fine motor, some simple daily activities such like eating, buttoning shirt, tie shoe lace or unpacking food will seen tough for them. The child typically shows poor performance in sport and poor handwriting. They are also having difficulties in pronouns of some phonic sounds like “f”, “h”, “v”, “z”.  The child has short attention span, poor organizing of language and deficits in language comprehension. They having difficulty to understand the comprehension or carrying out instruction, having low self-esteem which shows in their immature behavior and cause them socially withdraw.

The Early Symptoms of Dyslexia.
Learning disabilities occur in very young children, but they are usually not recognized until the child reaches school age. If a child complains that they are having dizziness, headaches or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing or copying, then they might be dyslexic. The early symptoms can be notice in a child’s writing and reading, showing repetitions, additions, transposition, missing, reversals or inversions in writing, numbers or words, for example b wrote as d; p wrote as q; 6 become 9; 14 become 41; u wrote as n; cat wrote as cta; cake wrote as cak; difficulty in differentia between letters or words look similar such like there and three, they will have difficulties in copying letters or words especially from board or book to paper, often leaves sentences incomplete; having difficulty in identifying the beginning, middle and ending sounds in spoken words, being confused by direction left and right, difficulty in time concept such like before and after, 6am or 9am,  confused with math symbols such as + / - ; difficulty in learning math multiplication,  having difficulty in reading, slow in word retrieval, and may rereads with little comprehension,  having difficulty putting their thoughts into words, stuttering under stress, difficulties in gross motor and fine motor skills tasks like hopping, using scissors and pencil grip. Having difficulties in attention and most of them are daydreamer.

1c. Treatment Approaches
Many people find efforts to study the new formula and treatments in order to help people with autism to adapt to the society needs. Although some may be useful but believing that everyone is different, there is no specific one approach which is effective for all the people of Autism.  The parents, teachers and therapies may have different opinions and technique helping the autistic child, where there are some common approaches includes Treatment and Education of Autistic and Related Communication Handicapped Children (TEACCH), Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS), Sensory Integration (SI), Play Therapy, Sand Tray Therapy, Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Food and Nutritionals Control.  One of the intervention programs that widely known in Hong Kong and been use is “Louise Program”, the founder Yolanda Wong (Hong Kong) is a woman successfully helping her autistic child to adapt various skill and education learning.  Louise program is an intervention program for Autistic and Learning Disorder child, it is a combination concepts and skills that being modified from TEACCH, ABA, Sensory Integration, Occupational Therapy and Montessori Program which commonly use by most of the peoples, and now being use in these program as a teaching methods and training program. Louise program emphasis the holistic training on the child, it includes cognitive learning, attentive and behavior. Which trained the child independently in self help, helping the child to have Receptive and Expressive communication, using Visual, Audio, Kinetics materials for teaching and play in the child’s learning. Some skills design in building the child’s attention and some skills design for the purpose of modification in the child’s behavior. This program is easy to understand and it is design for the parents to teach their own child in every situation and anytime. Although it may not suit every child, but there are many parents testify that Louise Program has successfully helps their autistic child to cope with his or her ability.

Conclusion
Learning Disorders are not disease; it cannot fully cure, but to overcome the difficulties through different ways.  It is important that the parents, teacher, child caregiver or those who work with the children could identify the symptoms in earlier stage, and bring intervention to the child, because it may lead to a serious behavior problem if the child is not being understand or mistreated by the parents, teachers and their peers which it will affect their self-esteem and cause them socially withdraw.



Apr 28, 2013

情绪背后的意义和动力


愤怒 ﹕准备对一个不能接受的情况作出改变的行动。
痛苦 ﹕使我们避开危险。
忧虑 ﹕把精力集中去处理一件当时最重要的事。
讨厌 ﹕需要摆脱或者改变。
悲伤 ﹕从失去之中取得智能去更珍惜尚拥有的。
后悔 ﹕从一个得不到最好效果的做法中找出意义。
惭愧 ﹕一件表面完结的事尚有需要做事的部份。
紧张 ﹕需要额外的能力去保证成功。
踌躇 ﹕在内心里,两个或以上的价值有相同地位。
无可奈何 ﹕已知的方法全不适用,需要创新突破思考。
困难 ﹕觉得须付出的大过可得到的。
害怕 ﹕不甘愿付出自己以为需要付出的。


资料取自:EQ 情绪管理讲义

Apr 15, 2013

完行治疗解决未了情意结….

某天P小姐来找我,她来见我的时候,并没有说出要解决什么,只告诉我有些事情还未做到,来见我想谈谈,放松自己。于是我带她放松,然后很自然的使用一个技 巧就是《说故事》。 她开始进入状况,情绪起伏很大,我意识到她在潜意识中想起已故的妈妈,这股思念令她久久无法释怀。于是带领她,让她与妈妈“再次见面”,让她有足够的时 间,抱着妈妈,跟妈妈说话,也让她想象妈妈会跟她说什么。她在潜意识中处理了她与妈妈的未了情意结,最后愿意好好的活下去,因为她深信,这是妈妈对她最后 的心愿。处理之后,她脸上露出满意的微笑,并且不住的感谢我,还说这是她今年收到最好的礼物。 以上的技巧属于菲兹士。波尔士(Fritz Perls)的完行治疗法(Gestalt Therapy)。完行治疗法是帮助当事人处理和解决心中还未完成之事或未了之心结,让当事人不会因着某些事情而影响日常生活,也让所有生命中的遗憾或内 疚得以透过完行治疗法而得到处理和解决。 在说故事环节中,由于P小姐心中刚好有未了之情结,便很快在治疗中浮现,当我一步一步的带领她去处理内心深处的心结后,她就能因此得到释怀,不再被情绪影响,也不会耿耿以怀了。

Apr 3, 2013

认识忧郁症 - 心灵的感冒

 忧郁症是种什么样的疾病呢?
* 任何人有可能罹患忧郁症,他也被称为心灵的感冒。只要好好的接受治疗,几乎所有的患者都能痊愈。
患者的心情
* 痛苦到要死”
* 每个人都有心情难过的心情,与心爱的人分开、考试失败、工作失败等都会感到非常痛苦及心情低落。但这些一般都只是一时性的心情,在家人和朋友的鼓励和安慰下,就会慢慢遗忘,不知不觉恢复以往的活力。
* 但是忧郁症患者的这些情绪却是长时间无法消失,而且忧郁的心情和强度非常强烈,甚至痛苦到想死。
* 对于他们,我们要特别注意他们的自杀倾向。 


忧郁症的特征
家人、朋友等身边的人在一旁看到的忧郁症的症状:
1. 没有活力
2. 看起来总是很忧伤的感觉
3. 常常叹气
4. 动作慢吞吞
5. 优柔寡断、无法下定决心
6. 整天无所事事,总是在睡觉
7. 不做自己应该做的事、工作或念书时会偷懒
8. 不想与人见面
9. 静不下来(坐立不安)

 忧郁症的身体症状
1. 睡眠障碍
2. 消化器官症状:茶饭不思、胃不适、大便异常、想吐、腹痛、胀气…
3. 自律神经症状:呼吸困难、压迫感、胸口苦闷、心悸、脉搏异常、频尿/残尿感、口渴、出汗、头 晕、头重…
4. 其他:丧失活力,总是感到疲倦、各种疼痛、肌肉酸痛、性欲减退…
5. 这些症状有时健康的人也会出现好几项,而且也不一定影响正常生活,就是说,光看这些症状还是很难判断是否罹患忧郁症。
6. 这些症状中,典型的忧郁症会: 心情“持续忧郁”、“持续不安”、“持续失眠”;在身体方面,会出现懒散、没有食欲、腹泻、便秘、头痛及肩膀酸痛等。

* 这些症状出现的时间和感受的强度都有助于医师做诊断。

* 忧郁症是情绪障碍的一种,还可分为重度忧郁、轻郁症以及未分类之忧郁症。   

 我们可以根据美国精神医学会 DSM – IV (精神疾病诊断与统计手册第4版)中的分类与症状作为参考。
  
 DSM-IV 情绪障碍的分类
A.忧郁症(只有忧郁症状): 重度忧郁, 轻郁(忧郁症状轻微,但持续2年以上) ,

未分类之忧郁症
 B.躁郁症(有躁症症状的时期):   

重度忧郁症
1. 心中充满悲伤、心情郁闷、意志消沉
2. 对过去喜欢的东西不再感兴趣
3. 丧失食欲,或反过来暴食,体重明显变化
4. 失眠或过度睡眠
5. 动作慢、回应少,或反过来焦虑得静不下来
6. 容易疲倦、体力衰退
7. 不断责备自己
8. 集中力与思考力降低,难以作决定
9. 常想到死的问题或想死

如果同时出现 5 项,并持续两个星期以上,在生活中也出现困难,就可能被诊断为重度忧郁。

* 忧郁症也有“日内转变”的现象:早上状态不好,到了下午或晚上时,情况慢慢好转。

* 忧郁症变得严重时,也会出现以下几种妄想:
 1. 虚无妄想 - 认为自己的财产或地位会丧失
 2. 被害妄想 - 认为自己被欺负
 3. 罪孽妄想 - 认为自己的罪孽深重
 4. 虑病妄想 - 认为自己已经患上不治之症

 
如何引起忧郁症? 与生俱来的个性(遗传) 家庭与社会教育及环境 发展因素(婴幼儿时期) 抗压力低(体质因素)  

导致: 压力 ~ 身体疾病 ~ 脑内物质的变化 (神经传导物质中的血清素及正肾上腺素就会极端减少

引发:忧郁症 个性的因素 * 循环性格-拥有豪爽及悲观倾向的性格,摇摆在活泼与缓慢之间。

* 强逼性格-集中力强,对事物执着,做事彻底、一丝不苟,富有责任心、正义感,因此容易太过努力而感到疲惫不堪,进而爆发忧郁症。
*忧郁亲切性格-注重次序,认为事务和人际关系也要有条理,因此对于次序改变、或是消失非常敏感,因此当面临晋升、退休、搬迁、结婚、生子或死别的时候;也容易因为太为别人着想而接受超过自己能力的工作。

压力的因素 
 * 不同的人在承受压力时会受到当时的情况、环境、成长过程或个性因素影响。 * 然而,我们仍可归纳出一些普遍上令人感到压力的事件:

1. 负面事件(Negative events):负面的事件比正面的事件较能产生压力的重叠,这因为负面的事件让人们觉得需要花费更多的力量来应付。负面的事件也可能造成激烈的情绪反应和身心反应,这可能源于负面的事件有威胁到自我概念或失去自尊的可能。
 2. 失控事件(Uncontrollable events):无法预期的事件比能够预期的事件较容易产生压力反应。控制感可以减低压力的生理反应。如果个人可以预测事件的发生,而事件也在控制的范围内,应对压力的能力也会增加。
3. 隐晦的事件(Ambiguous events):隐晦的事件比光明正大的事件较容易叫人感到压力,这是因为隐晦的事件叫人无从回应或采取行动,然而个人却必须费心力去了解潜伏的压力。光明正大的压力事件让人能马上行动,解决问题。例子:工作上含糊的职份。
4. 工作过量(Overload) :工作过量比工作量少比较容易让人感到压力。太多的职务,太短的时间完成工作一般容易叫人感到压力。
5. 压力事件所涉及的人生层面 :一个重视家庭的人面对婚姻危机会比重视事业的人面对相同的婚姻危机更感到压力。我们不该只单一个生活层面或某个人,而是应该扩大生活的层面和支援系统,避免某一件压力事件就足以粉碎全部生活的情况。

忧郁症的治疗
* 在忧郁症的治疗上,药物治疗及正常作息是两大特点,接着才是配合状况采用心理治疗。 * 充分的休息:忧郁症患者不论身心都是极度疲倦、缺乏能量的,若是上班族最好能休假,若是家庭主妇也要休息一段时间不要做家务,让身体得到充分的休息,进一步在进行能放松心情的活动和积极运动提升能量。

如何避免忧郁症再度复发?
* 在预防患者复发的方法中,维持药物是很重要的。关于要服用多少药量、服用多久,都必须遵照医生的指示,以避免忧郁症复发。
* 如果了解引发患者爆发忧郁症的导火线,也应该在事前回避那种状况,或事先作好应对的准备,才能预防再度引起忧郁症。
*有些人在忧郁症痊愈后,焦急要赶上落后的工作等,都有复发的风险。最好慢慢步上轨道是很重要的。  

家人与周遭人应注意之事项:
* 如果当事人跟平常不太一样,或一直持续这样的情况,都要注意。
* 家人陪同患者就医,让医师能够从其他的人听取病情,或当被诊断为忧郁症后,家人能一起聆听有关治疗方面的重要讯息,对照顾患者商会有很大的帮助。

 家人与朋友如何与患者接触?
* 不要“鼓励”患者-因为当患者做不到时,旁人的鼓励反而让他更痛苦。
* 与患者交谈时,尽可能聆听,让患者觉得安心。
* 不要让患者在忧郁期间做重大的决定,如辞职、退学或有关签合约、金钱等事项。
* 注意患者有没有表达出“不想活了”、“活着没有意义”等,要告知医师,同时不要让患者独处,并常常对他说,“我们需要你”、“你很重要”、“不要死”等话语。  


参考书目:精神疾病检测百科。主妇友社编。三采文化。2005

Mar 21, 2013

TOTE 策略模式重编脑内程序改变强迫症行为

上神经语言程序学- “内在管理”一课时,内中有个技巧叫做 《TOTE》,看似简单,但实际上用处可不小。它可以帮助你重新调整生活模式,改掉坏习惯或生活小毛病,尤其对强迫症特别有效。 当时,处理的是“常常忘记拿电话”,因着这个小毛病,常常弄得我心神不宁。事情往往在要去上班的早晨发生,通常在上了车后,或车子走到半途之时,心里突然 惊慌,自己好像忘记拿电话,然后慌慌张张从车里出来跑上四楼住家,找了一轮,看不见电话,心想可能自己慌乱之时,没看清楚手袋内有没装着电话,于是又急忙 飞奔下楼,乱找一轮,有时找不到又会再跑上四楼再找一次,这样上上下下,不但搞得身体热汗全冒,自己情绪也会高涨,似乎与患上强迫症没什么分别,美好一天 的开始就这样给搞砸了。于是同学们帮助我找出找电话的过程,再重新帮我编码,输入我的记忆库内。 原来,我这属于自语型的人,过程中出现太多的自语,比如:“好像忘记拿电话…好像在房间…应该是在手袋内….我好像拿出来放在书包里了….”于是重编“自 语”…“别慌张….不要自己吓自己…冷静点就可以想到电话在哪里….”过程就是这样简单。 自那次后,直到今天为止,我再也没有忘记拿自己的电话出门,TOTE 只做一次,就能进入潜意识,改变你的生活习惯。

家暴 – 婚姻暴力

孟生与晓芯结婚数月后,孟生便开始对晓芯使用暴力,当孟生看见晓芯开心的与其他男士谈话的时候,他心里就会充满怒气,回家后就会揪着晓芯的头发、把她的头 撞向墙壁或按在地上,每当晓芯迟回家的时候,孟生就会大发脾气,怀疑晓芯对他不忠,除了恶言侮辱,还会掌掴她的脸、掐着她的喉咙,威胁她再犯的时候,将给 于她更重的惩罚。晓芯前来接受辅导时满脸泪痕的诉说:“他变了,我越来越不认识他,他动不动就对我拳打脚踢,我很怕,不知道该怎么办….我应该怎么 办?….”[1]

以上之案例属婚姻暴力的其中一个例子。今日的社会,与上述案例相似的情况多不胜数,只是很多时候,居于某些传统观念而导致人们以“家丑不可外扬”为藉口, 继续给于施暴者许多施暴的机会,导致悲剧发生后,才悔不当初;收拾残局。

所谓的婚姻暴力是指在婚姻中,当其中一方透过威胁、控制、报复或惩罚的方式向另一方进行性侵犯、强奸、严重伤害或袭击的行为。受害者大部分为女性,但也有 男性成为婚姻暴力中的受害者。

婚姻暴力之类型 婚姻暴力可分为几种类型,其中包括了肢体暴力、口头暴力、情绪暴力、性暴力以及疏忽其基本需求。《肢体暴力》是指所有对身体的攻击行为或拒绝援助对方身体 上的需要而造成的伤害。比如:殴打、拉扯等。《性暴力》则是指在未经同意的情况下,在言语或肢体上施与性侵犯;以暴力威胁或强迫对方与自己发生性关系;或 刻意使用种种方式攻击其性器官。《口头暴力》是指其中一方使用言语来伤害另一方的自尊,并引起对方极不舒服的情绪,包括威胁、恐吓、辱骂和毁谤。《情绪暴 力》被诠释为对他人情绪或精神状态上的攻击,包括持续施与贬低、威胁、轻视、侮辱、操纵、或控制他人行为而造成的伤害。《疏忽其基本需求》包括持续拒绝对方的需求,使对方觉得自己不重要或不配得到公平的对待,或令对方在身心灵上的健康受损,甚至出现生命危险。比如:将配偶囚禁在家里或一间房间里面、禁止对 方使用电话或其他通讯工具或故意不让对方得到所需之食物或物品。

婚姻暴力对家庭之影响 无疑的,婚姻暴力所带来的影响和后遗症是无法预料的,甚至在日后需要一段很长的时间来作治疗,方能走出婚暴的阴影和创伤。其中包括了施暴者对受虐者在生理 和心理上的直接伤害以及对子女们的伤害。
 a. 生理上的伤害- 受虐者身上因肢体暴力直接所造成的青红肿、割伤、裂痕、淤血、残废、死亡或间接性导致生理上出现胃痛、头痛、疲劳等等症状。
 b. 心理上的伤害- 受虐者长期面对折磨下造成情绪容易紧张、焦虑、恐惧、失眠、沮丧、易哭泣、自我形象低落、和社会隔离、不敢出外等等。
 c. 对子女的伤害- 家暴会造成子女情绪不稳定、脾气暴躁、惧怕、焦虑、担心、忧愁,常发噩梦、容易受挫、难以与人相处、不信任人、拥有较低的自我形象。

我们须理解到受虐者保留原状,并没有进一步的寻求帮助并非表示他喜欢这样,而是因着某些理由而留下来。受虐者很可能会因自己缺乏经济独立、须在生活的某一 层面依赖对方、害怕失去生命中的某些人或事物,又或者是为子女和家庭的缘故而继续默默地承受施暴者的暴力对待。同时受虐者往往缺乏评估能力,有者认为自己 被施与暴力是自己的错,企图将施暴者的行为合理化。

如何帮助婚姻暴力受害者 当发现身边的朋友在行为举止上拥有以上所指出的特征或情绪时,就要稍微注意和关心,最明显的莫过于身体上的瘀伤或伤痕。受虐者为了掩盖事实,会穿上平时不 会穿的长袖衣或高领衣衫,把伤痕隐藏起来。除此之外,受虐者在精神上会显得恍惚、容易紧张、焦虑、脾气暴躁等等症状(参:婚姻暴力对家庭的影响)。当受虐 者向你倾诉心事的时候,切勿劝告当事人因以维系家庭为重而忍耐施暴者之行为,也不应把婚姻制度凌驾在个人的安全和生命之上,若受虐者是基督徒,切勿劝说姐 妹需要完全顺服丈夫,因为丈夫是一家之主,抑或为主受苦等等之话语,因为上帝所设立的婚姻制度并非如此,乃是拥有爱,而且这爱是能让彼此间更维护对方,盲目的顺服而遭受暴力对待是愚昧的。所以,当我们发现他们是婚姻暴力中的受害者之时,我们需要有智慧的为他们提供实际援助。

首先要关注的便是当事人的人身安全,或为受虐者提供一些暂时的庇护所,若有必要可以透过一些福利部向政府申请人身保护令。其次要肯定这不是他(受虐者)的 错。可为当事人的需要而提供一些经济援助或适当之辅导中心作辅导。若了解到施暴者愿意改变的话,则可为施暴者安排适当的辅导协助。至于基督徒,则可为受虐 者祷告,诵读一些安慰性经文并重整受虐者对婚姻的看法,最主要的是鼓励受虐者勇敢的走出来,因为若受虐者没勇气面对或走出婚姻暴力,身边的人所能给于的帮 助便非常有限。所谓勇敢的走出来,并不代表它的结局一定是离婚收场,它也可能是重新建立健康家庭的开始。 圣经在诗篇55: 12-14说到“原来不是仇敌辱骂我。若是仇敌,还可忍耐;也不是恨我的人向我狂大,若是恨我的人就必躲避他。不料是你;你原与我平等,是我的同伴,是我 知己的朋友!我们素常彼此谈论,以为甘甜;我们与群众在神的殿中同行。” 正如以上经文所说的,我们很难真正的去理解受虐者心中的矛盾和挣扎,也无法体会他们所受的痛苦和创伤能有多深。

《家》原该是赋予人安全感、给于安慰扶持的 安乐窝及避难所,配偶原该是爱护自己的人,却变成了攻击自己的对象。婚姻暴力有如潜藏的炸弹,随时引爆将带给双方无止境的痛苦和伤害。作为社会关怀者或助 人者,我们有必要对我们的社会提高醒觉,关注身边的朋友,是否已处在婚姻暴力的状态中,并且随时提供受害者全面的帮助与支持。 以下是一些福利机构,能为婚姻暴力受害者提供一些辅导和帮助,若你或身边的人是婚姻暴力中的其中一分子,鼓励你不要迟疑,尽早联络相关部门或机构,以帮助 你能更有勇气的去面对。

 1.全国妇女醒觉运动组织(All Women’s Action Society / AWAM)
2.妇女援助中心 (Women’s Aid Organisation / WAO) – www.wao.org.my

后记 : 其实,家庭暴力指的不仅是局限于婚姻暴力,家庭暴力也包括了儿童虐待及老人虐待。当由于篇幅关系,笔者留载下一次方解释有关之课题。 [1] 案例中个案之姓名乃属虚名,为保护当事人之私隐权。

Mar 20, 2013

关于“身心语法程序学” About NLP


什么是 Neuro-Linguistic Programming (简称NLP) ? NLP 中文翻译为“身心语法程序学”或“神经语言程序学”。我的工作常会接触人,而人类一向来都是难搞的动物, 有时会处在两难之间。透过一次的书展,第一次接触到 NLP,当时的我还在修着表达性治疗课程,对于NLP是什么实在搞不清楚,只知道学了在人际与思维方面能帮助到我们,就这样开始了课程。每一次课程中的治 疗都让我惊讶和感动,原来一个人是可以从消极中变成积极的,原来我们人类说的话是那么重要,原来我们与周遭 的人、事、物都是互相影响。我最大的喜乐是当我看见一个人成长的改变,而NLP 竟是让我一次又一次的经历其独特之处,它真是难得的一门技巧,能够帮助人达到自助的能力。

美国科罗拉多州法制部门给“身心语法程序学”(NLP) 的定义:关 于人类行为与沟通程序的一套详细可行的模式。 它本身并非一套心理疗法,NLP 的重要法则可以被运用于了解人类经验和行为,亦使之有所改变。NLP曾被运用于治疗方面,结果说明它是一套效果强大、快速和含蓄的技巧,能够使人类的行为 和能力有广泛和长久的改变。NLP专注于修正和重新设计思想模式,以求更大的灵活和能力。
What is NLP?Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is defined as:A detailed operation model of the processes involved in human behavior and communication. Although it is not itself psychotherapy, NLP’s principles can be used to understand, and make changes in, any realm of human experience and activity. NLP, however, has been applied to the therapeutic concerns, and the result is a powerful, rapid, and subtle technology for making extensive and lasting changes in human behavior and capacities. NLP deals with modifying and redesigning thinking patterns (for) flexibility and new capacities and abilities.
State of Colorado, U.S.A(Dept. of Regulatory Agencies)

Mar 1, 2013

离婚手续

双方同意离婚
* 不用经过 Pejabat Pendaftaran Negara (注册的地方),
 * 各自请律师办理离婚手续。

争执性离婚 - 只有一方不同意离婚
 * 单方面申请离婚,其中一方可申请分居,分居可以成为往后离婚的理由。
* 需要经过 Pejabat Pendaftaran Negara (注册的地方) 出信。
* 政府安排 Tribunal (辅导协谈) – 至少会见他们三次。一次是申请者;另外一方并双方协谈。希望挽救并复和婚姻。
* 如果协谈后,仍有一方不赞同离婚,就要各自聘请律师为自己争取。故双方需要在法庭定下之日期出庭听审。
* 通常,分居至少两年方可正式离婚。
* 每项离婚从法庭发出“离婚中期判决令”(Decree Nisi)开始,并在有关判决令发出的3个月冷静期后才正式生效;除非法庭另外有所判决。
* 双方若涉及财产、子女并日后之赡养费,而双方却又无法达至协议,故离婚手续便将拖延越久。
* 若申请离婚的那一方有足够的证据(出示照片或…)显示对方不忠于婚姻(婚外情),律师为答辩人争取赡养费的机率将会提高。
* 法庭将按照双方的财务情况及造成离婚那方的财务情况作出支付赡养费的判决。 申请律师 * 若经济许可,可各自聘请私人律师代为办理手续。
* 若经济不许可,则可往 Biro Guaman (政府代表律师) 寻求法律咨询与帮助。条件是月薪在 2000 以下。 联络: LPPKN ( Lembaga Penduduk dan Pembangunan Keluarga Negara) Bangunan LPPKN, Bahagian Pembangunan Keluarga Unit Kaunseling (Tingkat 14) 12B, Jalan Raja Laut, 50350 Kuala Lumpur. Tel: 03-26937555 (Ext 1213,1216,1218,2162) Ext:1218 – Ms. Katherine Fax: 03-26945458 Email : penduduk@lppkn.gov.my Homepage: www.lppkn.gov.my Portal: www.e-keluarga.com.my